Sunday, August 03, 2003

Pittsburgh Live
Tribune-Review


County approves first same-sex adoption

Janet Kendra and Pam Kackowski with Daniela – Photo Sean Stipp/Tribune-Review

By Rich Cholodofsky
TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Friday, August 1, 2003

History was made in a Westmoreland County courtroom Thursday afternoon when a judge approved the adoption of 3-year-old girl by two Hempfield Township women.

Pam Kackowski, a 46-year-old manager in the computer field, was legally awarded parental rights to the young girl her life partner adopted overseas two years ago Janet Kendra formally adopted the couple's daughter, Daniela, in 2001.

"This is just peace of mind that we're putting it all together," Kackowski said.

For Kackowski and Kendra, yesterday's 30-minute court hearing before Westmoreland County Judge Anthony Marsili was a long time in coming and made possible only after a decision reached last summer by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court paved the way for adoptions by same-sex couples.

The state's high court gave county judges the discretion to approve adoptions without the termination of parental rights.

Previously, Kendra would have had to relinquish parental rights to her daughter before Kackowski could adopt the child.

The couple have acted as Daniela's parents since the day Kendra returned home from Armenia two years ago with Daniela. Because state law allowed only one of the women to legally obtain parental rights, Kendra alone went through the court system to become Daniela's legal parent.

But both women sought to change that.

Almost immediately after Daniela was brought home, Kendra and Kackowski called attorney Marla Blum to ask about both women gaining parental rights.

"I had to tell them no," Blum said.

Then last summer the law changed, and a month later they again called Blum. This time, though, Blum was able to help and negotiated a process for same-sex adoptions with the county's family court judges.

Blum said she was surprised by how receptive the county's family court division judges were to the concept.

"It's going on everywhere, but with much more acceptance in Westmoreland County than we could have hoped for," Blum said.

The crux of the Supreme Court decision was that would-be parents had to convince a county judge that it was in the best interest of the child for an adoption to go forward without the termination of existing parental rights.

And that's what Marsili ruled after yesterday afternoon's hearing.

"This was the classic case when two people have shown and demonstrated they are in a long-term relationship and that there is no reason to suspect it won't last," Marsili said.

Kendra, a 45-year-old nurse, and Kackowski have lived together since 1993. They said their motivation for the adoption was out of love for Daniela and for the completion of their family.

"We're not activists. We just want to be parents to this little girl," Kendra said. "We would like her to have the benefits of two parents, socially, legally and medically. We already are her parents, but if I were to die she would be orphaned again."

For Daniela, who turns 4 in September, yesterday's trip to the courthouse was just to talk to a judge. She wasn't aware that her parents were about to make history.

Judges in other counties, including Philadelphia and Allegheny, have approved same-sex adoptions, but until yesterday that had not occurred in Westmoreland County.

Marsili said that after court papers were filed earlier this year on behalf of Kendra and Kackowski, his office did receive some calls about similar types of adoptions, but as of yesterday none was in the works.

But each case would be treated as a standard adoption with the judge set only to determine whether such an adoption would be in the best interest of the child.

Marsili, who presides over most of the adoptions in the county, said it doesn't seem to matter what situation the parents are in, only that final adoption seems to bring a great deal of joy.

"Sometimes a traditional couple who have been together for years and adopt their 16-year-old child are happy because it's now legal. I think that's what nontraditional couples look for -- it's legal," Marsili said.


Rich Cholodofsky can be reached at rcholodofsky@tribweb.com or (724)837-0240.

###

Now that you read this article, here is a question to think about:

Since Kackowski is a live-in partner since 1993, the home study they are required to have for an international adoption should indicate that Kackowski lives with them and should note who she is. If this information existed, right here there should have been alarms going off for the Armenian adoption committee that approved the adoption.

Anyway, I’m not going to write anything else right now, as I’m just a little bit numb and very disappointed in the adoption committee. I’m not sure if it’s there fault for allowing a lesbian to adopt one of our children or not and I guess until I don’t review the Kendar adoption file, it would not be wise to say anything.

The thing that is going through my head right now is as soon as I review everything and if I find that all the papers were in order, what will I do to the adoption committee and the Prime Minister?

I know of 2 other single mother adoptions that are right now in the works that could potentially end up being the same as this story. One is to a non-Armenian who lives in Washington state and the other is to a half-Armenian who is from some other part of the US.

No comments:

Post a Comment